I read an article yesterday titled the 10 Struggles of Being Not Fat, but Not Skinny Either. If you haven’t read it yet, its definitely a thought provoking article about body image, or it was for me anyways. But after reading, I’ve realized how far I’ve come with being absolutely okay with what I look like most days. Either that or the article was just totally off base and I’m normal. I’ll let you decide. :)
Love everyone, flaws and all, just like Rigby’s underbite. ;)
I confess, I am not always 100% okay with how I look. But, I bet you aren’t either. I have days where I feel bloated, or too pale, or too something. I’ve struggled with accepting my body for what it is. I don’t always like the way my stomach looks, I don’t have a thigh gap, and I often feel like my boobs are too big, my waist is too high, or my arms are too big. But I think the more important thing is feeling good about yourself on almost all of the days. The article went on to list the author’s ten struggles with her weight, and reading them… I just couldn’t relate.
I couldn’t help but have some thoughts about each of her points, mostly because I always have opinions.
1. Analyzing the “You look so thin!” comment on a picture.
I have never done this. I cannot think of a time where a. anyone has said this to me, or b. a time where I would care. I would probably think cool, I guess I must look good or something, and move on with my life.
2. Eating with people you’re not close with. (a.k.a the “Salad Battle”)
I have never, ever understood this. I’ve never ordered a salad on a date. I hate salads as a main entree. Bring me a salad before my dinner entree, fine, but do not make me eat it for my dinner. I will just be hangry and no one wants that.
One time when I was in college, a group of senior girls at my work went out to a lunch with our manager and the Vice President of the university. He said how “impressed” he was that we were all ordering “real food” and not salads, like the women he has dated who were of an “older generation.” Thanks, I guess?
3. Choosing an outfit to wear out on a weekend night.
Okay, sure, this plagues me. But not because I feel bad about myself, but more because… I don’t like wearing tight clothing. I haven’t felt comfortable with doing that since I hit puberty, because, well I have boobs and I don’t like flaunting them anymore. Too much cleavage is not a good look on me, and dare I say most women my age.
4. Buying jeans.
Well, okay, this sucks too. Mostly because companies can’t get their shit together and make sure all their denim is cut and sewn the same way. I bought 4 pairs of denim jeans after really liking one I bought… and half were too big and the other half were too small. They were the same size and style… what gives?!
5. Wondering what guys refer to you as.
No cares. This isn’t Mean Girls, I highly doubt any man out there has a burn book or rates women. And if he does? Not worth a second of my time.
6. Taking your cover up off at the beach.
Samantha Matt referred to the “roll” that someone may see when the beach cover ups come off. Hell, I hope people have rolls! Real life cannot be photoshopped like magazines. Almost everyone has a roll somewhere. Who cares?! I will say though, bikinis and me don’t have a great history together. Maybe I’ll share that story later. ;)
7. Deciding whether or not to eat free food at work.
LOL what? Always eat the free food. Always. If my co-workers think I am fat for eating snacks at work then they are just bizarre. Plus, they’re nerds. They don’t judge me for eating, I’m the one that places the snack orders!
8. Losing and gaining weight.
My weight fluctuates within 2-5 pounds throughout the month. I’ve had a long time to get used to that fun fact and I just don’t care.
9. Trying to figure out what guy(s) are actually interested in you at the bar.
Hm… not a priority. I mean, sure I’m not single, but even if I was, do I really care if someone I just met at a bar is that into me or not? How about wondering if you are even into them?
10. Explaining to people that you’re staying in because you… just wanna lose 3 pounds.
What? Really? I get that sometimes you may just want to have a night in, but typically this is because I’d rather be home with Ben and Jerry on the couch and some Netflix… not because I want to lose 3 pounds. I would hope if someone really felt this way that their friends and family would rally around them. Staying home because you’re afraid to indulge every once and awhile makes life not worth living.
My conclusion to all of this? I think I’m doing just fine with body acceptance, and I hope the readers of that article who could relate to Samantha find peace with themselves. Every body is beautiful at every size. Worrying about what others think about your body isn’t going to make you happier.
Are you okay with your body most days? How do you feel about these ten “struggles”?
What a beautiful post Jenn. So thoughtful and raw – thanks for sharing. I feel the same way, not fat or skinny but I do love my body and curves. Gorgeous photo of you and Rigby, too. =)
I am hosting a link-up myself today that I’d love for you to join with a future OOTD. If you do join, please include a link back to my blog. Thanks so much. Ada. =)
http://eleganceandmommyhood.blogspot.com/2014/06/spring-must-haves-skirts.html
Thank you so much, Ada! I love that we can celebrate ourselves for our curves!
I’ll be sure to link up with you with my outfit for tomorrow – thanks for the invite! :)
UGH I hated this article too! I get the free food one, only because at my old job we had donuts, cake and bagels EVERY DAY haha
haha, okay, that i can understand then! definitely don’t need to eat like that everyday! ;)
I’m so glad you wrote this, you literally took the words out of my mouth on all of these. I read that article yesterday and could understand how some people feel that way but overall I just felt like she needed to care less what everyone was thinking about her, I can guarantee no one would care if she didn’t pick the salad at dinner, if you’re going to go home and eat a second meal what’s the point?!
haha, seriously! i’ve never enjoyed salads or really cared what people thought about what i was eating. its no secret i enjoy food, and if that affects my weight so be it! :)
Since I’ve started working out about 2 to 3 days a week for a year now, and making healthy eating choices I feel pretty good about my body. I feel and see a change in myself. Mentally and physically. I don’t worry too much about what others think of me, and that makes all the difference. Loved this post!
xx,
Tania
http://inspiremyfancy.blogspot.com/
Couldn’t agree more, Tania! I’ve been trying to eat better most of the time and go to the gym a few days a week. I’m more about healthy lifestyle choices than feeling bad about all the things I’m not cut out to be!
I’m on board with most of this but I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable taking my cover up off at the beach. I hate when I want to walk down to the water and have to do it!
That’s the one I most struggle with too. I’m just not really that comfortable in a bikini/swimsuit in general.
I actually enjoyed and related to the original article… but I love your responses, as well! The one I think I have struggled with the most is what to order when I have gone out with my really skinny friends. When I was already feeling like the “fatty” of the group, i didn’t want to be the one who was eating the most unhealthy, too! I’m really glad to read that you accept your body. I think we need more of that.
Thanks, Juliette! I try to make healthy choices most of the time so I don’t have to feel weird about ordering what I want when I go out. I’m just not cut out to eat a salad most of the time! ;)
I struggle with this A LOT! I am 5’3 and I fluctuate like you, and either way its pretty noticeable! I have trouble finding my sweet spot. Its pretty frustrating lol! Love the post! All so true!! XOXO
Lisa,xo
Fluctuating is so annoying! I always put on weight in the winter (hi, yummy holiday food!) and lose it come summer. I’ll never have a “bikini” body but that’s okay with me most of the time ;)
Lol omg same here!! Its so true!!! XOXO
lmao that last one!
If Im staying in yes Im eating junk food and binge watching netflix too
wow she/he kind of sounds shallow…like I could care less about most of those things.
I felt that way too – but I wonder if some of it was just said as sarcasm. I hope she doesn’t really worry what men think – most guys don’t notice the little stuff anyways!
I didnt read the article but I read your snippets and your reaction and I am so with you!
glad to have your support! :)
I missed that article, but seeing your recap of the “points” makes me maybe not want to read it, because most of them aren’t especially relatable to me either. “Wondering what guys refer to you as.” — what?! I guess maybe that’s a consideration if you’re in high school or something, but I’m too old to care about that shit. I don’t think carefully pondering your clothing choices is a sign of body issues, because as you said certain styles will flatter your body type more than others, and buying jeans is a gigantic pain in the ass in any case (no pun intended).
Yeah, the article reminded me of the way I thought in high school, where boys noticing me was the be all end all. Perhaps the author is a bit younger and hasn’t realized that a lot of this doesn’t matter, or it was written to get noticed. Either way, shopping for jeans is THE WORST.
I enjoyed this post. I have put on too much weight after a foot injury (and living in and hating the cold northeast winters). One thing I have found interesting, though, is that I worry a lot less about my body and how other people perceive my body than I did when I was 40 pounds lighter. I think this is true of a lot of women. I think the next challenge on the horizon will be aging in a world obsessed with youth.
Aging is definitely another interesting topic! I’m have started noticing wrinkles on my forehead that weren’t even there last year… As much as I want to hate them, I’m kind of indifferent about it.
I seriously love this post! You cracked me up and had me nodding along! Some days I like my body and most days I don’t, so this is such a great post to put things in perspective. Ugh, I hate when people order salads. I know some people actually do like salad, but it’s not hearty enough for a meal.
~Sara
Agreed on the salad thing, I eat salad with dinner almost every night, so when I go out I want a real entree!
I’m okay with my body most days, but I definitely have my struggles, although none of them are listed there. I’m with you on the salad – if I want one, I’ll order one, but how about a more substantial meal? haha
Maddy
http://cassidylou.com
Totally agree, a salad is not a meal to me! I think we all have struggles, and like you said, I didn’t feel like this article really captured my own personal feelings.
i love my body! there was a time i was unhappy with it so i changed it and now i’m in love. if that can even be possible and not sound remotely arrogant. i don’t struggle with those ten things – if people don’t like me or dont’ like the way i look, then they have no business in my life. as for being concerned with what others thing of me, that has never bothered me; don’t like me? don’t care! :D
thanks for linking up!
-kathy
Vodka and Soda
I don’t think that sounds arrogant at all, I think its important to love your body for what it is and what you can do with it. I can’t say I feel like that 100% of the time, but I’m working on it!
Oh, how I love this!!
And I admire you for your great attitude to your body.
It took me a very long time to be really happy with mine, but for several years now I am. What a relief and absolute joy!
I used to be consumed by thoughts about my weight, and a lot of the things the author of the article says rang a bell. No more!
What a beautifully written post, and such an important topic in our diet-obsessed world. Thank you Jenn!
Glad you liked it! Even a few years ago I probably would have connected with some of these, but most days I’m okay with how I look. I’m really glad you do too – it definitely can be a challenge to get there since there is so much pressure from the media to look a certain way.
I’ve struggled with my self-esteem for years. I’ve done the “salad battle”, I’ve cried when shopping for jeans, I had a panic attack when trying to find an outfit to wear out on a weekend. But this post just blew it all out of the water. I love how confident you are with your body and your image. You are beautiful and have the best style. I just love this post.
Aw, thank you so much, Ashten! :’) Trust me, I don’t always feel amazing in every outfit, but more recently I find myself accepting the flaws and instead trying to work on making healthier choices more often.
“Real life cannot be photoshopped” THIS. YES. I am soooo quoting you on this LOL. I couldn’t agree more. Even though I am technically on the “fat” side I can attest to a lot of your points! AWESOME post!
Thanks so much, Vicki! Glad you could relate. :)
I am so with you on the cleavage thing! It’s my biggest clothing problem and it doesn’t look good on anyone–or at least classy.
Yep, this. My chest has prevented me from being able to wear a lot of cute stuff. #thestruggleisreal :(
OMG I completely agree with you on all of these points! Especially on turning down free food and the “salad battle.” Beautiful post! Also, it was so nice to meet you during Rachael’s sip and share tonight! I’m now following (and LOVING) your blog!
Thanks, Ashliegh! It was so great to meet you too. :)
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That article was, in my opinion, sort of bull shit (woops!) I loved all of yuor comments and you brought up some good points :)
Thanks, Rachael! I do wonder if the author didn’t dramatize some of these things to get more attention, but it was thought provoking regardless :P
Half that article (as many do on ThoughtCatalog) make me want to yell NO, THAT’S NOT WHY THIS IS FUCKED UP. Like, yes, many of these are real things that happen… but the author is coming at why they’re problematic from entirely the wrong perspective. :(
Yeah, and I feel like many ThoughtCatalog articles are purposely inflammatory. Makes for better reader “engagement” and shareability, I suppose.
I finally got to read both the original article and your commentary and I’m glad you posted this. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where body image comes from and I’ve got as much self loathing as the next girl, but to just eat salad or turn down free snacks is bananas!
totally agree! I’ve definitely had my share of struggles with body image but I’m grateful that I don’t really relate much to the original article.
I would never not eat the free food. duh. just duh. hahahaha ESP if it’s ice cream!!
haha! no kidding, ice cream will never get turned down around here :)
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