I want to dedicate this post to all of the great neighbors I’ve had throughout my life. And when I say great, well, I don’t exactly mean that.
I’m sure you all have had some really sweet neighbors, I know I have. The kind that brings you freshly made cookies or pies, fresh-cut flowers from the yard, or the ones who you know you can always count on for a cup of flour in a pinch (actually, do people really do that anymore?). You know, the good ones.
But, I just want to rant a little bit about our neighbors. While they may not mean to be, they are a special breed of neighbor.
Dear oblivious, dog owners who blast their music all day and all night,
Your rude comment to my mother, who walks my dog on a leash AND miraculously manages to clean up after him, as to whether or not she’s heard of dog training was way out line. The reason my dog is barking at your dog is because your dog is off leash, and is making him uncomfortable. Not cool.
Not to mention, your dogs urinate on our back patio, defecate in all the common areas, AND break the leash laws by, well, not having a leash. Fabulous. Also, don’t forget we can hear your tiny poof of a dog that barks ALL THE TIME too. We just can’t hear him/her except when we are actually outside is because he or she is like, half of a pound. Also, worrying about stepping in your dog’s shit when we’re in backyard area is really swell. So is your bass thumping music that you play at all hours of the day and night between 8am and 4am nearly every day. Thanks for that.
Take your own advice
Dear Frazzled Parents,
We haven’t met, but you sure sound like an elephant. I have NO idea how you make so much noise at random hours 8am, 9pm, 2am? Elephants. All. The. Time. Also, throwing parties is awesome. What is not awesome is hearing your small child crying in your bedroom (above ours) all night while you throw said party. And then hearing your child running down the hall screaming and crying, when I assume it has finally had enough and got out of bed. When I don’t hear your baby crying, I hear your dog barking. Constantly. I mean, I get it. Dogs bark sometimes. But please, can you like, give your dog a frozen Kong or something?
Oh, and whichever of you snores, wow, that’s impressive. We can feel the vibrations in our walls AND hear you sawing logs every night. Love it.
Your much quieter downstairs neighbor
If I could give you any advice, it is to not buy a condo. While they make great vacation rentals, you cannot escape your neighbors. Yeesh.
Do you have any horrifying neighbors? I want all the deets!